Balancing Needs and Desires
by Eden Gloria

There is something to be said for living within your means. Frugality can be a virtuous trait. Doing without. Being content with what you have. Making do. If this has the ring of truth for you perhaps you have learned this way of thinking from a background and upbringing of "lacking". Picture a child in a family struggling financially, having to decide between a new pair of shoes and a wonderful toy that catches its fancy. More likely there was no decision. The shoes were needed. The environment of need versus desire eventually weans you from choosing to please yourself or desire anything you don't absolutely need. This may instill the untruth that resources are finite and wanting more is pointless -- an unhealthy view regardless of the basic virtue.

On the other hand, a child growing up experiencing "abundance" is also in an artificial environment, created by a family of wealth. Learning that anything can be yours for the asking creates its own version of unhealthiness. The illusion that desires are needs and choice is not necessary, since you can have it all, is bound to have repercussions.

Through my experience and observation, trying to understand, I believe attitudes about "deserving" or "undeserving" behavior are begun at an early age. These are learned values that only later on, from the broader perspective of adulthood, come to be challenged.

Living in community concentrates the effect these diverse backgrounds has on individuals attempting to work out the functioning of the sanctuary. Learning anew happens quickly and many attitudes have to be adjusted to find a broader foundation for progressing with something so new to everyone. Challenging, it is -- and a great way to discover more about yourself. Through episodes of planning what we want, with meetings to learn what we need and straining budget decisions, these attitudes of "lack" and "abundance" reveal themselves. Clearly, buttons are pushed and boundaries are being moved.

Reliance on yourself is a good thing. Doing the best you can with what you have is... admirable. Learning what priorities are and figuring out what you REALLY want, and how to work toward that goal, takes discipline and patience. Learning to trust enough to ask for help when you need it and be open to receiving. These are great lessons. We've been learning them at Zuni. Thank you for all your support while we continue to learn.